How working on a text editor on a computer inherently supports stream of conciousness approach to thinking/ writing is so much better on a computer!

A wide variety of text editing packages for computers has made editing text on computers very convenient. The packages range from basic text editors to ones used by actual publishers. There is however a commonality between all these packages and the commonality is how they are inherently different from writing on paper. Writing on paper constrains you. Once you have filled the space on a piece of paper with an exposition on a particular idea that space gets consumed and in a sense that it is no longer open for more ideas or a revision of the original idea. Now you can say that there is always more paper, surely there is, but is writing on a new piece of paper, (not in the vicinity of your original idea) the same experience? I have found that it is not the case most of the time, a blank piece of paper hinders the though process and in a way you need to scale the summit for the original idea again.

This is where computer based text editors make all the difference, you never need to worry about the “space” getting consumed. You can always go back to the text that you were working with, add new lines and fill them with a new idea that occured to you when you were way further down in the text. You always remain in the vicinity of what you wrote earlier and it helps reinforce what you want to write now. You can think of multiple things at a time and go back and change them when you will to do so and this in a way promotes more new ideas. So you are always thinking, going from one though to another, without halting or worrying about anything else, which is incredible!

Gumption needed, NOW!

An idea has been lurking around for me a while. I was suspicious of it (scared too). Today it has managed to kidnap me to do its bidding. So finally here i am

Going to a movie is a transcendent (thanks autocorrect) experience. They really do want it to be transcendent. It is really dark in a theater, the images are so big, the voices so loud. Also when i go to a movie i really do want to go to some other place.

It would seem that all this setup and intent would do the bidding and you would be in a different world, but many a times that does not happen. There might be many reasons for it. Come to think of it, it is outright obvious. It is unlikely that you’d reach somewhere in a car with a punctured tire or write a letter with a broken pen. It is the same with a movie, if the bridge it builds (to take you to another world) is a weak one, you dont reach there, you slip through and get stuck in a limbo

The mind associates a setting by the aid of things it recognizes. A desk reminds you of an office, a train of a station and so on. If what you are seeing seems very common you wont associate with some thing out of the ordinary (hate to use it again, otherworldly).

Conversely the very strong larger than life characters have the ability to jolt you out of the mundane. (“Kitne aadmi the?”) and it is the up and downs of these larger than life characters that you can make your own.

I hope people make movies with more gumption. So that more of them would have these strong characters we cherish

Together or not?

Had been thinking about it for a while now, didnt get around to putting it down in so many words. (Maybe a break from work has helped, both material and time wise).

So the idea is one of association,i have a feeling that ,as humans, one of the first things we learn is association (and of dissociation). Even as a kid we are able to do this delineation of self from surroundings, this is me, that is not me. So in our minds we have boundaries, shapes, edges that define things. We recognize a cricket bat, that starts from its narrow handle and then a comparatively broader base and can distinguish it from a wicket. Even if we put them side by side we know where one ends and where the other starts

as so goes our idea of things

 

But what happens in case where the boundaries are not clearly defined, can we tell what is what. A mix of things is a good example of a situation where our ability to distinguish between things and tell them separate takes a hit. Our relative success in this separation varies from decent (in a mix of sand and nails) to useless (a mix of water and milk)

 

And all this we can still grapple with, when we talk of things in the physical domain. What happens when we take this mixings to ideas, conceptions and other things of that nature. How good are we in separating them. Separating two ideas? huh? Will you be able to take a pencil and draw an outline of one idea from the other. Perhaps i am talking in terms which are too abstract and we can separate with a certain amount of ease two ideas that are from varying domains and not linked, say for example the conception of gravity and the conception of good. But what happens when we get a mix of ideas which resemble the physical mix of water and milk.

So all this brings me to where all this started, a physical object, a company i card which had my photograph and logo of the company where i worked. Innocuous at first, it soon turned into a devilish mix of water and milk for me. It represented two ideas, the idea of me and the idea of the organization both represented by their images in an unholy ensemble. When both of these images are present on a single plastic piece, where is the demarcation. Does the existence of me merge with that of me. Was this super imposition of identities just a happy accident or a plot to circumscribe my identity with the identity of the organization. Do we, after looking at the icard day in and day out, everyday , begin thinking subconsciously that our identity has merged with that of the company and the distinction keeps blurring? I feel we force the same on our subconscious that we train from birth onwards to separate things by the means of boundaries.

P.S : So a lot of questions were raised and not many were answered, though it’d be really interesting to show an icard to a machine which has a conception of things and see what it makes out of the same

Blue and grey

i picked the brush
and painted the picture with blue
then some time it flew
and the painting it was
it wasnt anymore blue

grey it turned
and mocked it did
my folly of thinking
i could paint with future
with my color of blue

Black Polythene

CAUTION: NO ACTUAL PLASTIC WAS USED FOR MAKING THIS POST. THIS POST CONFORMS TO ALL ENVIRONMENTAL REGULATIONS THAT I CAN THINK OF AND YOU CAN BELIEVE IN

Have you seen those black polythene bags, the ones in whom the vendor near your house puts stuff? The stuff i think is usually eggs. I am very selfcentredly assuming that you like eggs and buy them, but thats just the truth, I am selfcentred and the fact that you are reading this post shows that you’ve learnt how to come to terms with it. So back to those bags, I am not the one to judge, but somehow in my heart i cant accept that those polythene bags are pretty, someone who thinks otherwise is welcome to convince me to the contrary. Those bags are all black, unappealing, though sometimes they have a lustre, which i feel is just evil. But why am i bashing the poor black polythene bag? No it didn’t swindle me, (some people know, how easy that really is). It just provides a suitable example, who does? The black polythene bag ofcourse, who else? are you even listening? reading, whatever. A suitable example for how we are. No we are not unappealing or have a lustre that is mostly evil. Why would i say that about you? Why would you think so anyway, dont you love yourself? It is a suitable example for how we are. No one can see what is inside us. For all I know, you are only pretending to read this post and you are all eggs inside. Bags, eggs , caps, snaps, and what, I dont have anything else to say. Nah, i am just lying, I do have something to tell you. So while we may not be filled with eggs, (i know i am assuming again, but thats just me), we are filled with other things, good, bad, I dont know what all; Good is fine, but we have a lot of bad too, that others cant see. Things which make us sad and others dont know about; Others dont know because we dont want them to know or because they are obtuse, i cant tell. Should we bring the bad out or do we stick to the black polythene. Now as far as I am concerned (and usually i am concerned only that far), i think black polythene is only good for carrying eggs or probably not good enough even for that. So why should we be like polythene bags?

 

I feel you need inspiration to write and nothing inspires like gloom. But i have found happiness can inspire too.

 

PS: For all those who ask why i dont write anymore, this is your comeuppance, 😛

Not?

Are we meant to feel or not? I would give my entire fortune (i know its an exaggeration (more of a fault) to call it a fortune) to someone, if someone would answer that question for me. Because this question just keeps popping up all the time, and every single time i have no clue whatsoever. Is it right to feel for the beggar at the roadside, do you have to consider the feelings of someone you despise, do people really mean what they write, or did they write it just because they had to write something, should a passage be read by heart (to be wept over or laughed about) or is a  passage nothing more than sterile fabric made by nuts and bolts; to be disassembled and broken down into factual statements. Whatever you end up doing, could it be worse? could it be better? And with so many people saying so much, lord knows there is empirical evidence, maybe studies have shown if you dont feel anything at all, the probability of your success doubles. But why do we exist then? Are we meant to be automatons? I would disagree but then I would come back and curse myself, So what if you choose to not be an automaton, you empathize with people, take a leap of faith, believe; there are people who’ll choose to not feel and walk all over you, it is really subtle most of the times, not as stark as i make it sound, its so subtle that it has become a way of life. So you should become an automaton right, it is the only logical choice, but you dont, yes, you heard me right, you choose to have faith, get burned, then trust again, we ought to learn a thing or two from the toddlers, you will always fall, but you have to stand up and be as chirpy. 

rhyme less

Hurt heal
Numb feel
Gather the million pieces
And watch them break into a billion

This going forward
moving back
Ripping the scar tissue
as the wound feels closing

why do we fail to see
the hurt it will be
why does it feel like a bone broken
if it were meant to be only skin deep

Beautiful

I dont know if anyone else has felt the same way or if everyone else does. I dont know. For when i look around, i find everything to be beautiful, the skies, the trees, the water, people. In everything i see, i find a measure of beauty, which captivates me, even if only for a fleeting moment. It may sound strange, but many a times, i have been fascinated and found joy by peering in the eyes of someone only to steal a glance

But when i look in the mirror, i feel i am not beautiful. I find there is nothing about me, that could grab my attention, even for a moment. Why is that i can find so much beauty in everything and everyone else in the world, and not a bit in me. I pondered over it, and a thought came into my mind. Now the idea seems very strange and revulsive , but is it true, i dont know? When i look at the world, i am looking through my eyes and i am trying to find beauty, the best of everything, but when i am looking at myself, i am looking through their eyes. And i dont know what they are trying to see, are they trying to find beauty, or are they marred by envy and malaise? Am i saying that everyone else is bad, and belief that i am not beautiful, is everyone else’s fault? I am not, atleast that is not what i am trying to imply.

I just want to say that, when you look in the mirror, see through YOUR eyes, for you know that you want to find beauty. And then you will see that you are beautiful

mayday and anger

I need white chalk, I need it right now, for there is too much blackness in this picture, and this blackness is hurting me, strangling me, choking me. And it is making me numb, causing me to lose my senses, joy and equilibrium. For soon I will be no more than a silhouette of a person who used to be, a caricature, a memory, or maybe I’ll vanish even without a trace, if this blackness keep filling in. So why doesn’t someone get me that white crayon, and help me rub it over this picture, for a grey would be better than black; any hue of white will save me, get me that white crayon, please

A love marriage, a divorce and an arranged marriage. It would seem pretty easy to answer which one would give the most pain, but let me tell you its not. For you haven’t taken the factor into account the factor which matters the most while coming to the conclusion, “time”, yes. Everything changes with time, it accrues, attrites. Time heals all wound but time also wounds all heels. So what might seem really rosy at the beginning may later on become something so horrible that it might damage everyone. As when a place where one expects to find comfort, warmth and happiness get contaminated by something so vile, the abnormal become the normal and insanity the norm. However the factor I am talking about, no one can mortally take into consideration, if only we could peek into the time, lord knows how many disasters would have been averted. I think that means no one is to blame, but its pretty unfair when people in their innocence act for that speck of happiness and their lives are vitiated with a lifetime of sadness and misery

A prayer

Sometimes you dont need a friend, but a magician; As there are bounds to what mortals can do and what logic can explain. But not the magician, he is not constrained, not hindered by the prejudices and notions that clip off our wings. He can do what you and me cant, he can bring rabbits out of his cap, he can make the mountains disappears if he wishes to. He can make you fly if only he feels like. So it is a magician that you need, not a friend. For a magician will be able to take your tears, and with the flick of his wand turn them into smiles. For all the sorrow in the world, mere friends wont do now, will they?

If they would, why would we buy so much? We buy anti depressants, we buy sleeping pills, and even ” How to be happy”. But do they make us happy? Yea they can make you have a tour of what happiness is, I dont doubt that, Its just like being in a museum, where you can see all the paintings, and the lives that were, but can you live them? Does just looking at the painting make you feel the way people felt at those times, i dont know. So while the self help books and the meds, show you the paintings, are you really happy? But i could be digressing,

Or i am not, But i think the really lucky ones are those who have a magician as a friend. I mean who would not like to have a guy by his side who can make all your troubles go away, for one i would. Being happy just like that. But is it really the job of a magician? I am guessing the guy this job detail was for, is a friend. Ahem Ahem, yes people listen up. Yeah, everyone has pressures, tensions and god knows, a lotta trouble. But does that mean that we turn our backs to someone who need us? And what goes around comes around, doesnt it? So people stick out with those who need you, yeah they can be pests, but you can be one too sometimes. So be a magician, eh, i mean friend